I’m tired, it’s late, I just got off work, and I have to be up EARLY for work tomorrow, so this post is going to be pretty brief and will likely be followed by something with more substance later in the day.

    I am posting however, because it was recently stated on somebody else’s blog in a convo between two other xangans, that I don’t appreciate my fans.   Here is what I have to say to that:

    >  First of all, I don’t really consider you all fans so much as friends.  Sure, you aren’t the same kind of friends that I have in real life, but for most of you, I’m pretty sure that if I could meet you in real life, we’d get to be pretty close friends, because you all are bad ass.

    >  I know that I don’t comment on your blogs nearly enough.  I’m not ignoring you, and I CERTAINLY don’t think I’m too good for any of you, I’m just actually a very busy person and sometimes (like tonight) don’t have time to do anything other than shoot up a quick post.

    >  Also, it is important to know that the biggest reason that I xanga, the biggest thing that keeps me going, is entertaining others.  I like it when people read what I wright and think, or laugh, or perhaps on the rare occasion cry (I’ve had people tell me it’s happened).  When I actually move you all, or entertain you all, I get some special kind of kick out of it.  I wouldn’t be on xanga at all if it wasn’t for awesome people like you.

    So try to understand, it’s not that I don’t appreciate any of my readers, or don’t feel like commenting, it’s just that I perhaps am not the greatest at showing you all how much I enjoy xanga-ing with you.  I really don’t use the internet for very much else. 

    So just like wannabeperfectordead always says “take care, and stay strong”.

    And as I always say, “Until next time, good luck with life”

    P.S.  how many of you all actually have a biggest fan????

    pps.  Here is my AIM screen name: TheGreatEadie.  It will say that I am signed on most of the time, so you can drop a message, but that’s just because I leave my comp on a lot and I’m too lazy to put up an away message, but if I’m on, then I will deffinitely talk to you!

    ppps.  Because people say I don’t have enough pictures of the actual me here on my page, here is an older picture of me at my old scaffolding job in Dallas

WARNING:  While this post is SFW, that doesn’t mean that some of you will not find some of the contents disturbing or graphic, read at your own discretion

    Okay ladies, I know, I know, you demand an explanation.  You always give us those weird looks, and strange glances.  You are all very curious why every single time we’re at Six Flags or the movies and we have to make a bathroom break, how you always come out way after we do.  Well, have no fear, because it’s time for Eadie to pull one of his old tricks out of his sleeve.  That’s right, it’s time for another EADIE GUIDE (I plan on making a complete list of all of my guides that I have created so far and placing it underneath the “Xanga Featured” section of my home page).

    This guide, ladies, is more like an information packet, to help you understand why your man may take an hour on his throne at home, but always seems to be the first to get his business done out in public.

    Eadie’s Guide To What Goes On In the Men’s Restroom

    Chapter 1:  Understanding Your Subject

    We men are very pride filled creatures.  Sure, when we are out in public places it will seem like we have no sense of shame, decency, or self respect, but the fact of the matter is that while we appear to be making a total fool of ourselves at times, we are actually quite busy maintaining an important aspect of our public image: our manliness.  It is very difficult to explain this strange mentality in men, but when we go out in public, aside from scoping out all the surrounding women to identify quickly in our heads whom we would most prefer to take to bed with us, we are also scoping out all of our fellow men to make sure that we are among the manliest in the bunch.  Really, this is a very intricate process that would spin off into an entirely separate topic by itself, but I only mention it so you understand the reasoning for some of the behavior that I am about to describe to you.  So as you read the rest of this guide, keep in mind that men will go to uncomfortable extremes to maintain their manliness.

    Chapter 2:  The Quick Answer

    If you are looking for a quick answer and are not really in the mood for reading a long (albeit highly entertaining) blog about it, then I will not present such a thing to you.  The main reason men spend less time in public restrooms then women is that we are trying to get the hell out of there.  There’s just too much pressure and too many things to think about to make a guy want to be in there for too long.  Mens’ restrooms are not fun places to be, the rest of the chapters will explain the why.

    Chapter 3:  The Entry

    Upon entering the bathroom a man must already have his image in mind.  Two very different scenarios represent the entry tactics for a man:

      > Out with the buds:  Men must enter the restroom looking over their shoulder acting like they are the only person in the room.  They must still be laughing loudly at a joke that was just made by one of his friends, and it is generally acceptable to shout something out in reply, making sure that it echoes throughout the entire lavatory.  The reason for this is simple, if a man is out with the guys and comes off as timid or not really into the beer drinking and jaw-jacking, then he is in the wrong place.

      > With the significant other:  Walk in silently with a smooth look on the face.  A man’s first stop will generally be the sink to make sure there is nothing in his teeth and that his hair isn’t a complete disaster.  Not only does this ensure that he is looking his best for his lovely lady, but it also announces to all the other men in the room that he is with a girl and that loud and obnoxious sounds should not be coming out of the restroom while he is in there so to save his reputation.

    Chapter 4:  The Urinals

    The main thing that separates the men’s restroom from the ladies restroom is one of our main sources of grief.  Behavior at the urinal is incredibly important.
    First and foremost, a man must know which urinal to choose.  Obviously, if there is only one urinal taken, don’t park yourself right next to it.  On the contrary, moving as far away as possible from the other pee-er can be awkward as well.  You can’t act like you have something to hide.  If most of the spots are taken, you cannot be afraid to sandwich yourself between two of the other visitors.  Standing and waiting when there are clearly urinals available is a no-no.  Of further importance, is that you must never take up a commode when all you have to do is squirt.  When occupying a stall, everybody else in the room will here… every… single… drop.  You don’t want that.
    When you have finally settled on a urinal, you cannot be surprised if somebody else winds up saddled next to you, you have to be ready for anything.  It is also important to stand comfortably at it.  Don’t give the appearance of humping the daylights out of the tall porcelain because once again, it looks like you are trying to hide something.  Part of exhibiting the manliness is acting like you have nothing to hide.  It is also important to note that over the course of many trips to the urinals, you will see many penises, and many people will see your penis.  It happens, it’s normal, and yes, it is often done on purpose.  Curiosity has the tendency to strike anybody.  Not sexual curiosity mind you, every guy is seeking the ultimate answer, do they have the biggest johnson around.  Bragging rights are very crucial, and many comparisons are drawn up during the time spent here.  You don’t have to leave yourself hanging out in the open, just try not to be too defensive or people will assume the worst.
     Talking while at urinals is perfectly acceptable as long as it meets one of several conditions:

      > You are out at a sports event:  Talking about the last play, the big save, or the incredibly home run is a MUST while standing at stadium urinals.  This is one of the many tests issued to men by men to make sure that they were paying attention to the game.  If a guy doesn’t talk sports while at a sports facility, there is a large chance that he is not a guy at all.

      > You know the person standing next to you:  You think it doesn’t happen?  Oh yes, when you go inside the urinals, if there are two guys that know each other, you can bet your boots they were talking about their last fishing trip or some escapade occurring at work.  Keep in mind that talking about anything non-manly however, is strictly prohibited.

      > You are seeking advice:  Again, it is not a rare thing to happen to bring up some car trouble you are having and ask if the other man has any advice.  This lets him know that you are indeed manly by the fact that you actually work on cars as opposed to sending them to a mechanic, and it gives him a shot to impress you by just how much he knows about cars.  This situation doesn’t happen as often as the other two, but it is still considered acceptable.

    Lastly, it is important to remember the correct order that you do things at the urinal.  It is always: shake, zip, flush, step back.  If those steps are done out of order, awkward and embarrassing moments will surely occur.

    Chapter 5:  The Commode

    Remember:  Only enter the commode if your bowels need a movin’.  Coming in here to urinate is strictly laugh-at-able.
    When you enter the commode, before you even sit down, you are faced with a scary choice.  Do you risk sounding like a pansy by using one of the toilet seat covers which tend to be loud and crinkly?  Or do you take it like a man and just squat and hope for the best?  In higher traffic areas like malls and movie theaters, this shouldn’t even be a question.  Nobody will hear the paper and you should definitely deploy it across your seat for fear of syphilis or something worse.  However, keep in mind that in some circles of men, using the toilet seat cover is considered girly and non-manly (an acceptable and quieter substitute is wiping the seat down with toilet paper prior to seating, of course, that just removes any solids and doesn’t exactly halt the flow of bacteria).
    Okay, now that you are safely (or unsafely) seated on your throne, you face yet another challenge: maintaining noise level.  Obviously, too much noise not only reaches a point where even the hardest of men will find it totally disgusting and you WILL be talked about around the water cooler for the next week, but at the same time, too little noise sounds suspicious.  They think “if he’s not taking a dump, what IS he doing over there?”.  Occasional *plop*-ing noises are unavoidable, so coughing or grunting is a common practice to disguise the exact moment the log hits the lake, which of course, can also be embarrassing.  Farts are also perfectly legal here as long as they are not committed in excess.  It is difficult to say the exact level of noise that should be coming from where you are seated, because it has the tendency of fluctuating from person to person.

    Chapter 6:  Wash your hands

    Just do it.

    Chapter 7:  Analysis

    As you can see, men face a multitude of confusing, troubling, and brain-racking rules and protocols to observe, and choices to make while simply trying to use the restroom.  Therefor, the less time we are in there confronting those decisions, the less of a headache we are likely to receive.  It is actually a myth that mens restrooms are dirtier than womens’.  One of my older jobs (not anything recent) required the cleaning of public restrooms and I know for a fact women’s bathrooms have the tendency to be dirtier.  I’m not really sure why, but the point is, that is not why men spend less time in their bathrooms.

    Chapter 8:  The Antithesis

    The exception that throws everything out of the water however, is the home toilet.  This is the man’s throne.  The space nearby is usually well-stocked with an untainted supply of toilet paper, and stacks of literature are located around the shelves as well (bathroom almanacs never get the amount of literary credibility they deserve).  The man can sit here for hours at a time, be as loud and disturbing as he chooses (as long as he puts the seat back down afterwards) and generally not have any care in the world.

    So women, now you know.  (Aren’t you glad).
    Guys:  amiright?

    Until next time, good luck with life.

    Button up guys, no gay jokes today.  That’s not the kind of sensitive assholes I’m referring to.  But this is a post for all you good guys out there, who have been good guys your whole lives. 

    Raise your hand if you have ever been in this situation:  You have a total crush on some girl.  You like the way she talks, the way she walks, the way she laughs, the way she smiles.  She could fall into a pile of horse crap and then stand up and fart, and you would still think it was the cutest thing you ever saw.  In other words, this girl has you completely love stoned.  She seems smart and intelligent (those are not the same thing, don’t get me started).  However, there is one slight problem, Kelly, the girl of your dreams, is going out with Dunko, the world’s biggest wanker.  He goes out and gets shit-faced at parties every night.  He ignores her on a regular basis.  He flirts with every other girl on campus.  He’s just a general dick cheese.  Why is it however, that Kelly, the perfectly intelligent and capable young lady of your heart’s desire continues to go out with him?  He has a rare sensitive side.
    Let’s face it, you have seen it before.  Even you ladies have been with your little circle of friends hanging out after watching Steel Magnolias in a circle eating ice cream in your PJs on your bed, when Lacy starts talking about Bryan who was being a total dick to her.  “Oh, Bryan doesn’t care about me, he’s always talking to that Veronica girl, ya know, the one with the fake boobs?  I don’t know what he sees in her, but how could he when he’s supposed to be with me, ya know?”  The little circle of girls nods in agreement before collectively asking why Lacy doesn’t just dump Bryan completely.  “Well, I would dump him, but sometimes he can be such an angel!  Like the other day, he looked me deep in the eye, and whispered in my ear, ya know, the way you do it up close where it kind of tickles, and he said ‘I will love you forever’, and it just made my heart melt.”  By this point, all the girls in her little circle-jerk are completely in tears because that sounds like the sweetest thing they have ever heard.
    When you really think about it, even the hardest of assholes comes off as the greatest guy ever as long as he is an unbelievable hunk, and has the occasional tendency to do something nice.  Whereas guys like me, who have room to grow in the looks department, have to be on our toes %100 percent of the time.  The moment we try to do something natural, like fart in public, or forget a birthday, it becomes the “last straw” and suddenly our asses are kicked to the curb.  We get one strike and we’re out, while some guys don’t even have to worry about strikes because they seem to be the whole starting lineup (baseball reference).  Sometimes when I hear a girl talking about their man and how much of a rotten waste of existence he is, I give them the best possible advice, “get rid of him.”  But then, they will look up at you with beads of tears collecting in their eyes and tell you “I just have this feeling, deep down inside of me, that he’s the one.”  I don’t know whether to break down and hug them at this point or just slap them across the face.  First of all, only Neo can be the one.  Secondly, what possesses these chicks to think that?  Is he just that good in bed that they don’t want to be with anybody else the rest of their lives, or are they the hopeless victims of some dark, twisted spell.  But really, you can’t say anything to that.  When a girl looks at you with those watery eyes and tells you that she feels a sense of destiny with some dude, I don’t know about you, but I can’t find it in me to ruthlessly crush their dreams by telling them that the guy is a prick and that they should leave him right away.  For some reason, the only person that comes off looking like a prick in that scenario is you.
   

    Until next time, good luck with life, assholes.

   P.S.  Since I’m NOT one of these guys, leave a comment on antisoccermom’s blog telling her I’m the hottest guy on xanga.

    Okay, I could be posting my new blog about proper etiquette in the men’s restroom, but NO!  The next challenge for antisoccermom’s xanga hot guy contest is due by this evening, so I guess I had better post.  This is supposed to be a blog that tells something about us… I think… either that, or I misunderstand the requirements.  Anyways, I’ll see what I can do.

    I know that oftentimes I draw large exaggerations in my posts about my real life and you all can never really be sure what to believe when it comes to reading me.  I get outrageous, or carried away, or just plain silly at times.  So here is what I offer.  Since I got harshly chastised by one of the judges for this contest back when I answered the original questionnaire that my answers were too over the top and that they didn’t reveal enough about the true me, I’ll now repost the questions with my honest to blog truthful answers.  I hope antisoccermom will let this count as my entry (don’t worry, the post about the men’s bathroom is most definitely coming).

Define your love life in one word.

    supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (okay, so that answer didn’t really change from the original post because really, what can’t you describe with that word?)

In relationships, what are the things that reach “dealbreaker” status? Meaning, what traits make your significant other unacceptable?

    One thing, and one thing only: smoking.  She could be the hottest girl in the world, but the moment she lights up a cigarette, it’s a complete turnoff.  It’s not that I’m a complete straightedge or anything, it’s just that I want to be with somebody that appreciates their own body and wants to take good care of themselves.

What makes you a good catch?

    Meh, I’m not really sure honestly.  Some people find me attractive, some people don’t.  It is a fairly general consensus that I’m funny, so I guess I have that going for me.  I am fairly strong and decently athletic, and I have a small pinch of intelligence too.  Other than that, I just try to do my best and see if it works out.

If you had to choose one, would you date someone of higher or lower intelligence than yourself? And why?

    If I had to choose between the two, I would say somebody of higher intelligence.  I don’t like dumb girls.  Really.  They piss me off.  If she was smarter than me, it would be intimidating at times, but much more tolerable that a pretty stupid chick.

Describe your perfect mate.

    My perfect mate is the one I have right now.  Really, I don’t have a set “type”.  Nothing specific really ever attracts me to a certain kind of woman.  She just has to feel right.  Great personality, cute, funny, all that normal hocuspocus of course, but really nothing in particular.  The only thing is that she has to like me back.

Do you believe in complete honesty in a relationship, including giving up the number of partners you have been with? Why or why not?

    Not only to I believe in being 100% honest with her, but I think it is the healthiest way to handle anything.  Amber and I have been painfully honest with each other at times, and things have gotten fairly hairy.  But I believe that it is much better to get those things out of the way now before they build up and bite your ass later.  Every day we are more in love with each other, it just keeps building, and it’s pretty awesome.

What are your career aspirations? If you could have any job regardless of money/location/schooling what would it be?

    Well, my original answer here wasn’t too far off.  Really and truly, I do want to be a journalist.  I went to college once for Biomedical Engineering because that was always what I was strongest at in high school.  I scored perfect on my biology APs and showed strong signs in the engineering fields as well.  Once I hit those college classes I realized something though.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t smart enough to complete the material, it was that I lacked the drive.  Sure, I wanted it, but I didn’t want it nearly bad enough, and when I accepted this, I actually felt kind of enlightened.  But with Xanga and everything, I enjoy writing so much, and I do it almost every day, it seems like the absolute perfect career for me.  So my dream job is to end up with a regular column in a big name magazine or newspaper some day.

Where does your screen name come from, and if you could change it at all, what would you change it to?

    My screen name is in a way, kind of embarrassing.  First of all, it quite simply is just my last name.  Walter Eadie.  That’s my full name.  It is pronounced (A-D) for those of you who do not know this yet.  Anyways, when I first got Xanga about 3 years ago, I was an extreme internet noob.  The only thing I had ever used the internet for prior to Xanga was for playing StarCraft, but that’s back in the day.  I had a Xanga account before I had a MySpace or a Facebook.  Like everybody else, I got the bandwagon on those and ditched Xanga for a little bit, but once I realized how crazy and insane those other sites were becoming, I found a warm welcome back here.  But those 3 years ago, when I first made my account, I didn’t know you were supposed to come up with some kind of fancy-pants user name or anything, so I just simply put my last name (because most of my friends IRL call me by my last name anyways because I think it’s a better name than ‘Walter’).  If I had known better, I would probably have named myself Drakonskyr or something like that.

Scenario: You have committed some kind of abhorrent relationship sin. You never intend on doing it again. Is it better to withhold the information and save the relationship, or to be honest with your significant other and hope you stay together? Why do you feel your answer is best? ‘

    As I mentioned before, I believe in complete honesty, I think it would be much easier to save a relationship by telling the truth right away than by harboring a lie.

What is it that you think women really want?

    Every woman wants something different.  I’m not even going to pretend to know what any of them really want though.

What are your shaving/grooming practices and what is your ideal grooming practices for your partner?

    Ha, I shave when and where I want to.  She does the same.

Are the lights on or off and why? And what position are we females in during this situation?

    Since I still don’t understand this question, I’m just going to leave the original answer:

    Although this question reeks of ambiguity, I will try to answer it anyways.
        Lights on:  She is bent over in front of a hot stove checking the heartiness of the pot roast that she will soon serve to me.
        Lights off:  She is shackled to a wall with a gag over her mouth… sleeping peacefully I assume.

What is your idea of the perfect date?

    This may make me sound fruity, but just a picnic really. 

What physical/emotional traits attract you to a woman? Body traits and emotional traits, we insist on knowing both.

    Um, like all guys, I found boobs attractive, but not like, big boobs, the have to be proportionate.  Also a cute face helps too of course, I especially like eyes and noses.  Emotional traits?  They have to be happy more than anything else.  Girls that are always depressed make me feel depressed and I like to be happy and comfortable around people.

Why should you win Xanga Hottie of the year?

    Because I’m the best.

    Okay, that’s that, I’m also going to have to ask for you to resend the links to your entries in my writing challenge preferably by means of a private message.  When they get buried deep in comments, they become difficult to find for when I will repost them later.  Sorry for the inconvenience.

   So before I sign out, don’t forget to go to antisoccermom’s xanga site and leave a comment saying that you vote for me because I really, simply, am the best. 

    Until next time, good luck with life.

    p.s.  Yes, I am still one of the judges for the XangAmerica contest but just so yall know ladies, you have a lot of catching up to do if you wish to win my vote over the likes of StephanieMarie7891 and MightyShell

   I have a writing challenge that I would like to see you all try and do.  There will be no big prizes, or no all important winners.  I may pick the entry that I like best and recommend it or link it from my page.  But the purpose of this challenge is for you all to try something you haven’t tried before and to put some interesting content out there for me to read.  No judges, no voting, no campaigning, no mess.

    The challenge is to pick a controversial topic that you are very strongly AGAINST, and then write a blog completely in support of it, using logical reasoning.

    Example topics are: abortion, creation/evolution, scientology, presidential race, war, murder.

    Try to sound as sincere as possible, as if it was the only view you have had all your life.  You may have to do some research, and you may find yourself learning in the process.  You may even have a little bit of fun along the way.

    When you make the post, send me a link to it via comments or messages or something, and I’ll post all the links in a future post including what your topic is on.  In addition to being fun to write, I am sure people will enjoy reading these as well.

    Remember, the freshest perspective is one you have never had.

    Until next time, good luck with life.

    “Look,
I got two daughters — 9 years old and 6 years old,” he said. “I am
going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a
mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby. I don’t want them
punished with an STD at age 16, so it doesn’t make sense to not give
them information.”
 
                                     -Barack Obama

    Until next time good luck with life (especially if you’re an unborn baby)

Because it doesn’t weigh as much.

   

I just Questioned this Featured answer, you can question it too!

    I don’t really intend for this post to come off sounding racist by any means, however, if you feel the need to be offended, by all means throw massive amounts of hate mail my way.  I really do enjoy hearing it.

    Now, I, Professor Eadie will explain to you a very important piece of information I recently discovered throughout my vast catalogues of research, my extensive studying, and my grueling experiments.  I’m pretty sure (scientific terminology) that the earliest human beings were either white, or more racist than we could possibly imagine.
    According to our good friend Darwin, human beings, as well as any species, evolve or alter their characteristics on a need to survive basis.  Therefor, if one trait increases your chances of survival, it is more likely for you to survive and produce offspring that have your same traits.  That could possibly sound a bit complicated for some of you brain dead weirdos out there, so I’m going to break it down into a nice example.  Let’s say that one day human being is born with rather undead-like properties (i.e. can’t be killed as long as head is still attached and has an unrelenting desire for human blood).  They now have a better chance of surviving and reproducing (in whatever way they see fit) than a scrawny kid with fragile skin.  Okay, that example was perhaps a little too farfetched and would obviously take place more quickly than the adaptations darwin described.  Look at it this way, a fish that can breathe underwater has a far greater chance of survival than a fish that cannot.  That doesn’t do justice either?  Well, hopefully you get my point, because I’m moving on before I lose track of my initial intentions and instantaneously initiate an intricate assonance.  Oh yes, black people.
    Anyways, let’s say that the first humans were black.  (Obviously the first humans had to be the same thing, there were only two of them and It’d be really messed up if God created one black person and one white person and told them to go forth and multiply, I don’t think the world was ready for that back then)  So as I was saying, let’s assume that the first two humans were black.  All they are going to do is continue to multiply and produce more black people.  Sure, every once in a while, a kid may come out to be a little bit lighter, but there would not really be any advantage to him being so, and therefor would last just as long as anybody else and be just as likely to reproduce.  So if the first two people were black, where the hell did white people come from?  Did God just randomly come down one day and say “Eh, that was fun, but let’s mix things up a bit”… BOOM! WHITE PEOPLE!!!  I sincerely doubt it.  So the question still remains, where did the whities come from?  Well, there is the other possibility.  Perhaps there actually was a slight advantage to being of lighter skin.  Maybe, in the days of the early humans, racism had a completely different meaning.  Instead of simply turning the black people into slaves, perhaps being born a tad bit whiter prompted the release of some now nonexistent (due to the evolution of morality) hormone that created a berserk craving to slash and destroy any and all human beings within the vicinity who were darker than you.  Then, perhaps maybe, white people would slowly emerge for having a better chance of survival.
    The solution to our problem may be easier if we twist things the other way around.  Let’s say the first human beings were white.  They got around just fine, lived long, and prospered.  They would begin to do a little “multiplying” here and there, and every so often, a kid would come out who was a little bit darker than the other kids.  Now, when it really boils down to it, being darker wasn’t going to make the person live longer.  However, it may simply make them more tolerant of their surroundings, and would in turn be more inclined to go and dwell in places that a white person would find too unbearable, such as, I don’t know, Africa.  Eventually there would become a huge separation where there would be the original white people content to living in their little parts of the world, free from sunburn and uncomfortable heat, and then there would be the black people, suppressed under their own vindication to the bright and sunny plains of the Sahara.  Or perhaps a similar situation could have played out.  Since mating is a key factor in Darwin’s theory, it could be that in sunnier areas, lighter people would get sunburned easier, and would get hotter, and would get sweatier, and would get stinkier.  I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that the average woman is not too carefully drawn towards a hot, sweaty, sunburnt, and stinky individual.  I have been told as well that there are other “advantages” to being black, but I’m pretty sure that those are only rumors.
    I hope you enjoyed Professor Eadie’s lecture for the day.  I’m sorry if it was too long winded for some of you more impatient types out there, but I feel that this ground-breaking new discovery absolutely had to be shared with the masses.  As a final note, I don’t even know WHERE to start with why asians have slanted eyes.

    Until next time, good luck with life.

    p.s.  If you came here looking for my pictures for antisoccermom’s xanga hottie contest, they can be found on the previous post, but be warned, I’m doing some naughty things in some of them.  If you don’t wanna go back and check them out, that’s cool too, just be sure to go to her site and tell her that I’m the best contestant ever.

    GO HERE TO VOTE: http://www.micropoll.com/akira/mpview/444467-97204

    Antisoccermom wanted pics for round three, so pics she gets.

    Just showing off my beautiful bod:

   
    That’s me staring you down… waiting for you girl…

   
    “Two thousand one, two thousand two, two thousand three… oh, I didn’t see you there!”

    I thought I’d throw in some pictures of me being naughty:

   
    The butt-scratch while going for the milk isn’t naughty enough?

    THEN HOW ABOUT>>>

    THE NOSE PICK!!!!
   

    Hahaha, okay, that was wrong right?

    http://www.micropoll.com/akira/mpview/444467-97204

    Until next time…

    ROCK ON!

    Many of you have probably figured me out by now, because some of you have been reading my blog for quite a while.  You may have noticed many patterns that I commonly use.  For example, I always tend to have multiple sections to my blog with completely different subjects.  I often have subsections that are divided but some kind of title usually in bold face.  You may have noticed that I always indent paragraphs by pressing the space bar four times, or even eight times if there are subparagraphs.  You know by now that I absolutely suck at keeping up with my “letters of the day” (although I only have 2 more to go before we start over, and I have a special plan for season 2).  You surely have noticed that I conclude most of my posts with “until next time, good luck with life”.  And one last thing you may have noticed, is that if I have too many goofy or ridiculous posts in a row, that I usually go to a serious one shortly after.  (This is that serious one btw)  Funny thing is that oftentimes my serious posts get more comments than my goofy ones.  I still like making the funny ones better though, but I can’t say that it’s not easier to make these serious ones.
    Anyways, for all that I am sure you have noticed about me, I still am surprised at times by the reactions I get.  Let’s face it, I write some crazy stuff on here sometimes.  I have really touched home in all the wrong ways with so many different types of people.  Has that become my style?  Perhaps.  Does that define may existence on xanga though?  Definitely not.  There are quite a few of you who have established closer relationships on here with me than others, and you all have a pretty good idea of what kind of person I am, but once again, the reactions to my last post opened my eyes.  Being racist, sexist, homophobic, prejudice, terroristic, and altogether mean, is perfectly acceptable apparently, however, when I mention something about molestation, it crosses the line.  (Some of you may not have noticed that in the last post because I did eventually edit the molestation part out)  The blurb right now on the top of my blog (which you may have noticed changes frequently) is a quote from DrugInducedDuck that was left on my last post that really struck me as being the defining comment for most of my blogs here.  Unfortunately, you can’t tell the “why did the chicken cross the road?” joke anymore.  It’s old, it’s used, and it was never really funny to begin with.  “Everything has been done” is a saying that is becoming more and more popular, not just on xanga, but in the world.  The only way to stay on top is to be fresh, and to be fresh you have to be edgy, and to be edgy you have to step on people’s toes.  Good clean humor is dying (if not dead already).  Sure there may still be a few people out there who can make you laugh without having to be dirty, but seriously, even Disney movies are rank with innuendo.  I get racy at times because if I didn’t many of you probably wouldn’t be here reading my page right now.  Seriously, if you are expecting me to stick to the boundaries laced by society on what is “good and right” and never be politically incorrect, please, un-subscribe to me right now, because I will probably continue to offend you.  I’m not saying I’m not sorry you’re offended, I’m just saying I don’t take back anything that I have ever done.
    Finally, in a comment someone left on my last post (which in case you didn’t notice were answers to antisoccermom’s xanga hottie questionnaire) saying that my answers weren’t really appropriate because they aimed more at sarcasm and dark humor than revealing truthful answers about myself.  I disagree with this largely.  I disagree with this because in actuality, I am a very sarcastic person.  I also have a heaping ton of morals and standards that are most accurately represented by almost the opposite of everything you see here.  Almost every single line I type on my blogs is with a purpose, and I really am thinking it through each time.  If you can find it in you to look through the blatant facade at what is underneath, you might notice some things you never noticed before, actual meanings and messages buried within my posts.  They’re there, I promise.  I know because I put them there.  Know that I am not a bad or evil person, but could perhaps best be described as an antithesis to evil.  I like to open people’s eyes, and stir people’s cores.  Really, when I get reactions like those that I did to my last post, that is what motivates me to keep going.  (By the way, I say reactions, and while there were a couple of comments expressing shock or disappointment, it was really the number of people that read my last post who normally do comment, but that didn’t comment on that particular one that had the biggest impact on me).

    Thank you for listening.  This has been a word to the wise, especially those wise enough to understand.

    Until next time, good luck with life.

    p.s. I love you all.  In a very… … sexual… way.