August 1, 2013

• Best of RockOfEadie: MyXangaBook - The next big thing

   
  Decided to go back through my archives and look for something funny to repost just for the hell of it.  This seemed appropriate given the upcoming switch to Xanga 2.0... enjoy a little something something I originally wrote in March of 2008:

  Okay, so what do you do when you are working on an AMAZING post that you know won't be ready until around this time tomorrow, but you still want a post for today?  You repost something that didn't get the attention that you felt it deserved the first time around.  So without further adue, I present to you xangafacespace... or something of the sort.

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     This post is going to be all about a website that I have recently discovered upon teh internets.  It is affectionately entitled "MyXangaBook.com".  You can't actually get there by typing it into the address bar on your browser, though.  The only way to get to it is to have it magically show up one day.  You can do this by doing absolutely nothing with any of your free time other than rapidly 'alt-tabbing' back and forth between these three websites (MySpace, Xanga, Facebook).  In one word, it can be called "thisissoamazingyouguyshavegottotryitlikeOMG".  From this website you can do everything:

  >Say hi to your friends
  >Complete tons of surveys
  >Click on super-cool advertisements
  >Do chain mails all day long
  >Blog
  >Blog some more
  >Blog some more
  >Blog MOAR!!!!
  >Take your midterms
  >Cook your food
  >Bomb the hell out of them desert type countries

  I strongly recommend coming across this site.  It lets you add over 2,000,000,000 applications a day that you will never even have to use again.  It lets you take 450 pictures of you holding your cellphone in front of a mirror per second.  You can "poke", "hug", "have sex with", and "kill" your friends all with the click of a mouse.  You can play sports, get buff, and attract tons of females.  You can be cool, have a social life, and drink lots of sodas and snack on pigskins all day too!

  In addition to all this, if you spend more than 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 hours on this website... AL GORE WILL PERSONALLY COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND CONGRATULATE YOU ON HAVING FINISHED THE INTERNET!  He will even bake you a cake in the shape of the world wide web!!!11!!

  Here is a screenshot from my page on MyXangaBook.com, feel free to click on it to see a larger, more detailed image:
  

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  Is this cool or what?

  Ok so everybody, what I need you to do is as soon as you get to this site, leave me your new screen names in comments so we can hook up on MyXangaBook and have cam sex all day long!!!!

  This may just be the best thing ever!

  Ok, enough of that, now to continue my letter-a-day series with #11: Kollosal 'K'

  

  K stands for what pretty much everyone in the world has begun calling me these days: KING.  I'm really not sure why everybody has to insist that absolute power be granted only to me, but HEY, it works in Cuba/China/France(probably) so why can't it work in the good ol' US of A?  C'mon people, we gotta keep up with the times!  All this election talk we have been having so much of lately is just silly!  Who needs a president?  Besides, at the rate things are going the next prez could be female... or worse... BLACK!!! *gasp*.  So people, people, why can't we just look to the good examples happening all around us.  Dictatorship is the wave of the future.  (Sure, I know that a king is a monarch and not a dictator, but don't rain on my parade).  Elections-shmections, I say we should simply let each figurehead decide his successor, therefore, at the momment, Bush should clearly and logically be the one to decide the next ruler of the world's last superpower.  I think we can all agree on this one. Who's with me?

   

   

  Until next time - Good luck with life.

   

  p.s. to females and black people, please don't shoot me, it's only satire.

   

  • 4:20 pm
  • 52 Comments