Disclaimer:
    Every so often, I will have one of those posts that sincerely offends many of my readers, and then just like that, they are gone.  This is likely to be one of those posts.  It’s not that I don’t want people reading my site, quite the contrary in fact, it’s just that sometimes there are just things that I feel the need to say, regardless of whether or not other people share my opinion.  If I offend you, then I am sorry and that is never my intent.  My intent is usually to make you laugh, occasionally to make you stop and stare, and sometimes, as in times like now, to make you think.

    My problem with the American military:
    Or at least the recruiters.
    Anybody who has ever attended high school or college in America is very familiar with the army/navy/air force recruiters.  These are very friendly people that seem to have a sincere interest in getting to know you, and a sincere interest in helping you out.  They tell you all these wonderful things about the military, and how great it is for our country, of course in an attempt to get you to join.
    This is all well and good, I don’t have anything for soldiers in the army, navy, or air force except tons and tons of respect and admiration.  Likewise, I have no problems with recruiters attempting to bolster America’s ranks, because it has to be done somehow, you can’t win a war without an army.  (You can’t start one either)
    No, my issue is when they start jostling around some of the less patriotic rationales for joining the armed forces.

    It makes you into a better person

    I have never been in the military, nor do I have even the slightest plan on joining it.  Is this supposed to mean I’m a bad person?  They appear most eager to sell this concept as if the only way that you can “be all that you can be” is if you join.  I feel that I am a fine young man.  I am very fit, I am very smart, and I actually have outstanding leadership characteristics.  I am outgoing.  I make friends easily, and maintain a civil attitude toward almost every aspect of my life.  The military didn’t do this to me, but when I come across a recruiter telling me I can better my life by volunteering it to get shot at I get apprehensive.  If I respond back that I already have a very strong life ahead of me, they tell me that the army can make it better.  This is truly outrageous in my opinion.  Soldiers are truly valiant, outstanding American citizens (for the most part), but to say that I can achieve this title without placing myself in a position that I have no desire to be in does not in any way sound inviting, but instead more along the lines of threatening.  If they feel they are going to defecate on my manliness, or my citizenship, or my strength of character, they can have another thing coming if they think I am going to put my life on the line so they can scour a bit of commission.  I would lay my life on the line for my country, not my ability to stand a little straighter or have a distinguishable bumper sticker on the back of my car.  I would lay my life on the line for freedom, not so that I wouldn’t be told that I wasn’t in good moral shape.  I would lay my life on the line for all whom I love, not so that I could be more loved.

    It is a career, and a path through school

    This, I feel is even worse.  They almost ruthlessly go after kids whom they feel struggled in school or seem to be financially in a state of difficulty, and this is most unfair.  At the rate that I have seen them haggle fellow classmates or friends of mine, they seem to implant in the target’s head that the military is the only way that they can have a successful life.  They take young adults that already seem to have a difficult time thinking for themselves and then go and try to make up their minds for them.  I understand that there is a great need for soldiers in the military, and I’m not saying that soldiers who are volunteering should not be treated with dignity and respect and given good benefits, but to force them down people’s throats when they are just learning how to swallow seems impractical and inhumane.  I wish the recruiters would advertise this more as a possibility instead of a solution.  Besides, if you die, it doesn’t matter how much money you raised toward an entrepreneur grant or a scholarship.  If you die, it doesn’t matter how much you had to pay to get through school.  If you die, all that matters is what you died for, not all the fancy things along the way that were used to lure you into the service.

    These are simple beefs of mine, and I’m not trying to convert anybody’s opinions about the armed forces.  I am very proud of our men and women overseas and I am very proud of my country and its army.  What I am very specifically not proud of is the tactics and propaganda used to recruit young men and women.  It honestly makes me sad.

 
HOO-AH!

    Until next time, good luck with life.

 

    I give to you the city of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates in 1991

    Nothing more than an eyesore along a dusty road seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

    Except now this, Dubai in 2005:

    Notice the same building is visible in the foreground, along the same (though expanded) road.

    HOLY COW.

    Construction has erupted like a malignant tumor.  What are some building in progress scheduled to be completed by 2010?

    How about these beauties  (the tallest of which will be the second tallest building in the world):

    Or this guy here, who WILL be the tallest building in the world, and will be almost twice as tall as the current tallest building, the Taipei 101:

    Even their terrain has begun to border on the insane:

    Just look at what bottomless pocketbooks and inventive minds will do for you.

 

 

    Okay, so I was doing my good responsible duty as an American citizen by wasting countless hours on YouTube.  I search all sorts of cool things, videos of people dancing, music videos, AMVs, um… videos of people dancing… um, AMVs… wait… is there anything else ON youtube? (other than Cris Crocker)  Anyways, I actually came across this video, it was made in my hometown of Fort Worth, Texas and features the second tallest building to ever be imploded in the world.  Pretty cool, seeing as how I didn’t even know that (I saw the building get imploded, I just didn’t know it was the second tallest).  Anyways, I went sifting through the comments to see what people thought of it, giving them the occasional thumbs down if their comment didn’t deserve the bandwidth or a thumbs up if they actually sounded like they had a dose of intelligence.  However, I began to notice that many of the comments were not about the actual video.

    Instead, they focussed primarily on the various conspiracy theories behind the World Trade Center attacks five years prior to this particular implosion.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we forget that terrible day in our history, or that we treat it in any form of casual manner, but there is an extent I believe where things start to go too far.  Let me show you an actual comment left on this video.

   

    Yes, I kid you not, this comment was left on the very same video you see above you.  The title of this video was “Second Tallest Building Ever Imploded”.  It said in the description it was a controlled demolition, in fact, you even can hear people cheering and shouting in the clip.  Sometimes I wonder if these types of overzealous extremists were specifically put on this world to make people laugh.  Either that, or August 11th, 2006 truly should go down in history.
    Speaking of history, let’s have a lesson.  The reason that this building was imploded, is because in 2004, a large tornado ripped through the middle of downtown Fort Worth causing untold panic and chaos.  This building called the Landmark Tower, was once the tallest building in the city (a long time ago) and received the worst damage of all the other buildings.  The damage was considered so irreparable that it would be more cost efficient to simply have the building removed… OR SO THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO THINK.
    Let’s get down to the heart of the matter (without singing any Eagles songs).  As you can clearly see in that video, the demolition was controlled.  That’s right, it didn’t fall over on it’s own, the wind wasn’t too strong, there were no earthquakes.  If you put on your best pair of glasses and squint really hard, you can catch a small explosion at the base of the building.  A clear-cut sign that a terrorist controlled demolition company was responsible for bringing down this empty tower in a city that most people have never even heard of because it’s too close to Dallas, despite being the 18th largest city in the United States.  Why would anyone want to destroy their own building?  The answer is simple: to create massive budget losses.  If they can find a way to cause themselves to go into bankruptcy by needlessly destroying perfectly normal property little by little and in such a manner that nobody would be suspicious, eventually they can create another stock market crash that would ultimately lead to a new political figure stepping up to the plate with the perfect solution and somehow lift the two term presidential limit and allow the world’s last superpower to be ruled by a dictator.  Here is a video taking half a year before the Fort Worth implosion that clearly shows the terrorist’s training grounds.



      “OH, we thought you said ‘make it shorter’”

    Therefore, August 11th shall go down in infamy as the day America began to wage a war on itself… or something.

    So in other words, what is my official prognosis on conspiracy theories?

 

    Okay, before I close, I think it’s letter-of-the-day time.   As everybody knows, the first word in the English language that comes to your head when you think of ‘R’ is racemation.  But the catch is… do any of you actually know what that means?  The word actually refers to a bundle or cluster of something, most commonly used in reference to grapes.  Don’t you feel enlightened?

 

 

 

    Until next time, good luck with life.

 

 

 

    Okay, there were many great entries into my caption contest, but only one can emerge as the victorious winner.

“Hakuna Matata don’t mean shit in this situation”
Jamayka – 1st Place
2 1,000 eProp minis

“African safari: $1286.46; plane ticket: $236.97; surviving: priceless”
FogOfConfusion – 2nd Place
1 1,000 eProp mini

“The day when the rest of nature decided that the LOLcats had to be destroyed.”
VaultESL – My Pick
1 1,000 eProp mini

 

    Thank you to everybody who participated.

    Until next time, good luck with life.

 

    Okay, this is the part where you vote on the submitted captions.  You may not vote for yourself, and you may only place one vote.  As a reminder, the prizes are 2 1,000 eProp minis for the winner, a 1,000 eProp mini for second place, and I will pick the second runner-up who will recieve also a 1,000 eProp mini.

The Picture:

The Submissions: (I’m not going to put names next to them for now, just vote for the number representing the caption.

#1    “But, Dad, are they really all rushing out to buy a Wii in time for Christmas?  It’s not even Fall yet…” (3)

#2    “Don’t worry son. If I eat you, they you can’t be trampled”

#3    It was in that moment that Simba realized that his father hadn’t come to save him after all, but to deliver him to the undead masses. (1)

#4    As the rogue lion’s fangs sank into his back, Simba realized that being trampled by stampeding wildebeast was the least of his worries and that he might not get to be king after all….but hey, hakuna matada.

#5    “OM NOM NOM NOM NOM…” (1)

#6    Mufasa: “Yum.”

#7    Owie, toof in spleen!

#8    “Baby: the other, other white meat. Baby: it’s what’s for dinner.”

#9    Simba:  “OH, CRAP!!!!!”

#10    Mufasa: I love little boys they make me feel so good.

#11    “Mmmmm, tastes like Chicken…” (1)

#12    african safari: $1286.46; plane ticket: $236.97; surviving: priceless (7)

#13    “family vacation to africa would be fun you said. it would build character you said. i just want to go home, i miss my computer, my psp, and my friends. btw, where’s mom?”

#14    “This contest is not endorsed by Disney” (1)

#15    “Hanuka Matata don’t mean shit in this situation” (16)

#16    “BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!!”

#17    The reincarnation of Chuck Norris

#18    DADDY GET’S FIRST BITE!

#19    “O NOES, TEH WILDEBEESTS!” (1)

#20    “Stupid Boy!”

#21    “Tonight, we dine in hell…” 

#22    “if you taste like your mother, i’m swallowing you whole.” (4)

#23    “Oh no, no Dad NO! Not the brier patch!” (1)

#24    The day when the rest of nature decided that the Lol-cats had to be destroyed.

 

    Okay, that’s it for the captions, now place your votes for the number and be sure not to vote for yourself (I know who’s is who’s) also, the previous post is now private so you can’t go back and check to see who wrote each caption.  Please read every caption before voting to make the best possible decision, and good luck to all the contestants.      The next post will feature the winner, and I will update this one occassionally throughout tomorrow with the vote tallies.

    Until next time, good luck with life.

 

    Marriage always comes across as a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other person is a husband.  This is, of course, the most common of marriage’s many stereotypes, but too often it plays out to be the most correct.  Why does it seem that women always come out on top (in an argument)?  Why do guys always end up feeling like a dumbass when it’s over?

    Here’s  the biggest thing:

    Women aren’t always right, they just make themselves right.

    What do I mean by this?  Okay, for all the men out there, please raise your hand if this situation sounds familiar:

    Eve:  C’mon Adam, we’re going to be late to the garden party!  I’m sick and tired of all these times that I have to wait for you whenever we go somewhere that’s fun for me!
    Adam:  What are you talking about?  I’m never the one that we end up waiting on, it’s always you!
    **So far, this seems to be a pretty normal argument, right?**
    Eve:  There was that time we were going to the piano recital, but we ended up having to wait for you to finish using the restroom.
    Adam:  When you have to go, you have to go!
    Eve:  And then there was that ballet performance that we were late to because you were setting up the VCR to record that silly game that was coming on.
    Adam:  We were only late by five minutes!
    **In case you couldn’t tell, the woman is setting up a trap in this situation.  It comes as no surprise that women have selective memory about these things, so she is using this to her advantage to set up a trap**
    Eve:  Okay then Adam, when do we ever have to wait for me?
    Adam:  There have been tons of times!
    Eve:  I’m waiting for examples…
    **BLAM! The sinker.  The simple fact of the matter is, men don’t really give a flying flip when it comes to situations in which we are at a slight inconvenience because of our woman.  We simply don’t find it necessary to store these occurrences in our head.  The woman of course knows this, so she saves up all these little situations in the event that she needs to come out being right.  Also, she sets up a double bomb in this fashion by making it look like we have crap for memory compared to them.  Unfairness abounds.**

    Another very traumatizing situation in which the woman manipulates a situation to her advantage can be found in the “Oh yeah?  Well what’s the date of *insert date that mattered to her here*” method.  This particular method has advanced over the years.  Women began to discover that men actually DO remember dates like anniversaries and birthdays and that just because pulling those out of the hat works in sitcoms and movies doesn’t mean that it is a functional tactic in the real world.  No, instead they are getting more creative.

    Adam:  Why do we always have to go to restaurants that you like the best, like the Olive Garden?  When was the last time we went to No Frills Grill?
    Eve:  We go to places you like all the time dear!  What about that time we went to Steak and Ale?
    **notice she is trying to initiate the “examples” tactic mentioned above**
    Adam:  You like that place just as much as I do!  You know I don’t like the Olive Garden, yet you make us go there all the time, we never go to places that you don’t like.
    **notice that he has skillfully evaded this particular tactic for the moment, now she will resort to the new method**
    Eve:  Well, you are supposed to make sacrafices to take better care of me, you are the man in this relationship.  Besides, remember the date of our seventh honeymoon where we went to Fuddrucker’s?
    Adam:  Yeah, it was… uh… our seventh honeymoon?  Wait, I don’t remember what date that was?  How can you except me to remember that?
    Eve:  That date is important, honey!  We were on our trip to Hawaii but you wanted to go to your favorite restaurant, so we did!  I can’t believe you don’t remember!
    **And he lost.  Just like that.  Everything was going right for him, and it just about looked like he had it won.  Men don’t try to memorize the calendar.**

    Lastly, when all else fails, there is one method that always carries the conversation to a direct and tragic end:

    Eve:  Honey, will you pick up the kids from soccer practice for me tonight?  Me and some of my girlfriends are going to the mall.
    Adam:  Honey, I told you yesterday that I was going over to Abel’s house for poker night tonight.
    Eve:  I know dear, but I’m always left managing the kids while you’re out late at work, or drinking with your guys.
    Adam:  Actually, the last three times it has been a friday night and we both wanted to go someplace, I have been the one ending up staying because you always want to ask me to give you random examples that I have no interest in even saving in my memory to repeat to you or always forcing me to recount obscure dates that don’t really even have any relevance to the situation other than just trying to allow yourself to win the argument.  So I’m pretty sure that I can reserve the right to be at poker night.
    **Whoo-hoo, he sure seems to have all his bases covered.  This would typically be where the woman would admit defeat and that she has finally lost an argument.  That is, unless she has mastered this next technique that Eve is about to pull**
    Eve:  Fine, if that’s how you are going to be, no sex for a week!
    **Freakin’ ouch**

    Now you can plainly see why the classic relationship stereotypes ring true in most situations.  Yes, the women are most often victorious in many arguments, but only because they know how to MAKE themselves right.

    Until next time, good luck with life.

 

 

    If you believe such things, I am merely a presenter of information, I do not presume to choose a side in this case:

    In 2001, the twin towers of the World Trade Center collapsed.  In the book of revelations, it foretells of the fall of two giants setting in motion the events of the end times.  It said that from this, large wars will occur including attacks on the homeland (i.e. fertile crescent a.k.a. present day Iraq).  In 2008, America will choose its next president.  The antichrist is said will be a well loved political figure who once had ties to the Christian faith and will seem too good to be true.  Barrack Obama’s mother was once Catholic and he is winning over supporters right and left.  His advocate (the false prophet) will be an influential religious figure who was close to him all his life, this description fits Obama’s crazy pastor.  In 2012, the world’s most accurate calendar, the Aztec Calendar, comes to an end.  According to their prophesies, this does not mark the end of the world, but instead a time when a dramatic physical change will occur to the earth that altars the earth’s electromagnetic waves.  These waves are known to have a large impact on the way humans think.  In revelations, one of the events of end times is a massive earthquake that causes such commotion that feuds will erupt between fathers and sons and friends, causing global power changes and massive arbitration.  The Aztec and Christian prophesies line up and the two cultures weren’t even capable of being aware of each other.  The same year, 2012, could be the last  year of the first term of Obama’s presidency.  It can be said that the collapse of the twin towers set the stage for Obama’s election because they had a dramatic impact on the actions of the current president, which are having a dramatic impact on these elections.

 

    This of course, could all be complete B-O-L-O-G-N-A (which Oscar Mayer has a way with).

    So what do you think?  What have you heard?  If all of this is true, I will be of (legal) drinking age by then, so I guess I can send the world off in style.  What would you do if you knew the world was about to end?

 

    Oh, and of course, letter of the day:  Q

  The word?  Qabab.  What is a qabab you ask?  A qabab is the name for a dish consisting of seasoned meat and vegetables on a skewer.  AHAH!!! So you knew what a qabab was all along, you just didn’t know it was spelled that way.  Great learning new things no?  The reason I picked this word is because in addition to being totally obscure, it is one of the few words in the English language featuring a Q that is not followed by a U.  (Note, this word is actually more comonly spelled ‘kabob’ but qabab is actually a correct spelling for it)

 

 

 

    Until next time, good luck with life!

 

    Perhaps you didn’t know it, but there is actually an elite group on xanga that controls about 137.24% of xanga’s influence.  Members of this group are chosen off of the most stringent nonexistent criteria, and are all self-proclaimed as the greatest bloggers on the web.  Anybody can of course join, as long as you follow all the rules.

    Rule 1:  Do not talk about the most bestest klique ever.
    Rule 2:  DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE MOST BESTEST KLIQUE EVER.
    Rule 3:  Do not question the spelling of the word klique.
    Rule 4-27:  Kick ass
    Rule 28:  There is no spoon.

    See how easy it is?   Let me give you a rundown of the alleged members according to the discoverer of the group:

    The Leader:  DrugInducedDuck, the clear-cut leader of the bunch, hands out assignments to the group and sends them on their way to comment, span, and recruit new members.  The entire ebb and flow of xanga traffic hangs in the balance of Duck’s next decision.

    The Sage:  TheTheologiansCafe, through unparalleled wisdom and the quest for truth, soaks up all the xanga traffic and then spits it back out having engaged in a mind-bending discussion.  Xanga traffic becomes more culturally aware, and thus the power of the Klique grows.

    The Drama Queen:  AntiSoccerMom, seems to be a complete magnet for trouble.  Wherever she goes, chaos follows – with the Klique holding up the tail.  Whenever the Klique becomes threatened, AntiSoccerMom is there on the offensive.

    The Paladin:  Legendairy, stands for truth, justice, and all that is politically correct.  He gets to the point and keeps the air thin.  Crap doesn’t fly in his presence, and it is his job to keep the Klique clean.

    The Damsel in Distress:  FullMetalBunny, often the brunt of much cruelty, and occasionally mistaken for a male, FMB backs people up all the way with her unwaivering emotional support.  Always a friend, always an ally.

    The Scribe:  AmandasBiggestFan, is never late to recount the goings-on of the events laid out by the Klique’s members, if not through her normal site, than through one of her many psuedo-sites she created to give herself a breather from her overwhelming popularity.

    The Warrior:  TheBlackSpiderman, always on the front lines of xanga blogging.  If there is a fad on xanga, it’s because he started it.  But if he doesn’t start it, he’s damn sure gonna finish it.  He blogs his butt off, and the results show.

    The Acquiescent:  Relaxolgy, sometimes referred to as the peace keeper, relaxolgy really knows how to calm situations.  Like FMB, relaxolgy will be there to back you up and always be a welcoming friend… unless you try to tell her adoption is the best thing ever.

    The Loudmouth:  Eadie, the coolest member of the bunch, Eadie has a knack for getting himself into trouble by not always keeping his thoughts to himself.  Sometimes this however, leads to hilarious results… at least he thinks so.

    Sounds exciting?  That’s because it is!  The most bestest Klique ever is comparable to a circle with a great big hole in it.  Why?  Because there is always room for moar.  Think you have what it takes? 

 

 

    Also, qccan would be very diskapointed, if not, perhaps in a critical state, if I do not rejuvenate my letter of the day program (and we all know you don’t want to piss off qccan) in which I present a unique picture of the letter along with a random word representative of it.  I think I left off at ‘P’, but I am too lazy to go back and check.  ilsurvive would be quick to tell you that “P is for Penis”, but that’s too obvious, so we are going to go with the more prolific term PERFUNCTORY.   Perfunctory refers to the carrying out of routine chores without any sense of excitement or enthusiasm.  Much like how Drakonskyr treats almost every facet of his daily routine, because let’s face it, us humans are too monotonous for him.

    The Otiose Spathe is a new concept I’m going to start.  It’s not all I’m going to do, so don’t worry, you will still get my amazing and refreshing humor that is parallel to none, but you will also get to experience my new brand of psuedo-journalism.  The Otiose Spathe is a fictional newspaper covering fictional stories (based on a project I did back in junior year of high school for The Great Gatsby).  The story today got inspired from the country song Don’t Blink.  Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t like that song, it’s kinda boring and way too much like the Tim McGraw song Skydiving.  But none of you probably care about that stuff anyways.  (Obviously the third person omniscient view wouldn’t be realistic while reporting an actual newspaper article, but that’s what I’m doing anyways.

 

    
         VOLUME: 1  ISSUE: 1

 

    A Change of Heart

    Rosetta Hernandez was sitting in her home on a hot day in November (yes, those things happen in Texas) watching the news, when she saw a man being interviewed who was celebrating his 102nd birthday.  He was saying the usual stuff about how he had been living a good life and that he has had so many fond memories, and Rosetta was just about to change the channel out of disinterest.  When the man was next asked what was the most important lesson he’d learned throughout the hundred and two years of his life.  His response was that life moves too fast, and that 102 years aren’t as long as they seem.  Rosetta Hernandez was 99 years old.  All of her life, she had been a stripper.  Two years ago she finally decided to retire.  Once you go through all the genital diseases she had been through it becomes an easy decision (also age was starting to become a factor).  Hernandez came to the realization that her life had been lived much too fast and That she needed a change of heart.
    She of course decided that she was going to have to do something about it.  She didn’t like the idea that she knew she wasn’t much longer for this world.  She was well aware that 99 was pushing it, even for a woman of her caliber and the best option now seemed to revolve around having a change of heart – as in a new heart.  She called up heart transplant specialist Guy I. Maydup.  We, here at the Otiose Spathe, were able to secure an interview with him.  What follows, is the tragic results and occurrences during the risky operation.

    O.S.  Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed.
    G.M.  It is an honor, I like the direction you all are taking the paper and I think it will be a refreshing new change in the way people read their news.
    O.S.  Yeah, that’s not what we’re here for.  In the beginning of December, you began an operation with a patient by the name of Rosetta Hernandez, is that correct?
    G.M.  Oh yes, very sexy lady, she really knew how to “treat” her doctor if you know what I mean.
    O.S.  Um, that’s fascinating sir, anyways, what did you think when you first took her in.
    G.M.  I couldn’t wait to get her clothes off and get her under the knife.
    O.S.  Did you actually have to worry about getting her clothes off?
    G.M.  Well, of course she did that for us.
    O.S.  Did she tell you why she wanted a new heart?
    G.M.  She said that she wanted to live longer and get to be able to do all the things she never did while she was busy wasting her life.
    O.S.  Well, that didn’t work out so well for her did it?
    (brief period of mutual laughter)
    O.S.  Ahem, back to business, did the procedure start off well?
    G.M.  Oh, it initiated without a hitch.  We acquired the specimen to be changed from our humble volunteer-
    O.S.  Who was this volunteer exactly?
    G.M.  Oh, a young man, about sixteen years old.  I don’t remember his name, but I could describe him.  He had black hair with one locke of it covering one of his eyes.  He wore dark clothes.  Had on eyeliner.  Oh, and he had strange cut marks along his arms.
    O.S.  …
    G.M.  Anyways, he willingly volunteered for the procedure and we were happy to comply.  We had the heart already removed from the donor and placed in a holding chamber.  Oh, sadly the donor did not survive the operation either.
    O.S.  I figured as much.
    G.M.  After she, ahem, did her thing, we began making the opening incision when we discovered something very detrimental to the procedure.
    O.S.  What was that?
    G.M.  Her heart was black and cold.
    O.S.  Go figure.
    G.M.  Well, you know what we do with black and cold hearts don’t you?
    O.S.  Try to warm them up and make them think happy thoughts?
    G.M.  HELL NO!  That only works in cheap movies like The Santa Clause Three.  No, we have a very delicate procedure in which we carefully rip the heart from the patient’s chest and with utmost precision, we crush it to dust.
    O.S. … And that’s why Ms. Hernandez did not survive the procedure?
    G.M.  That is correct.
    (at this point a loud commotion was heard as the door of the room flung open and a small police force of about 5 men came into the scene with pistols aimed at Maydup’s head.)
    G.M.  Hey, what’s going on here?  That was standard procedure, file a malpractice lawsuit if you want, but you won’t win!
    O.S.  Actually, you have just participated in our first “To Catch a Predator” rip-off event.  In this case, you aren’t a child molester, you are a man with what we call “craving the saggy baggies” syndrome.  It strikes 30% of all middle-aged men, and when creeps like you start acting on it, it just gets us very upset.  We decided that to do something about it, we would have to track them down one by one and bring them to justice.  You were our guinea pig and we managed to get a complete confession.  Have fun in jail.

 

    Okay, that’s the end of that, stay tuned for more stuff like that every now and then.  Oh, and I almost had to only use one bar to edit the genitalia on that picture there, which I thought was kinda funny.
    I’m sure there was a moral somewhere in there too.

    Until next time, good luck with life.

 

    Okay, I’m STILL working on that entry about Sonic cooks that everyone resqueted, like… a week ago now.  No, it will not live up to its hype, it’s just going slow due to a nasty case of writer’s block.  In the meantime, if it is amusement you seek, FogOfConfusion recently dug some dirt up on me which I had forgotten about, so I went and checked it out and found it to be funny as hell in retrospect.  Yes, I realize how homosexual this will make me look.  Yes, I realize how ultimately retarded this is.  It may make you laugh.  It may make you cry.  It may make you run and hide in untimate terror.  But I present to you a video I made a long time ago… and that I will never make again. 

 

 

 

    And yes, I realize how much of a loser I used to be/still am.

 

    Until next time, good luck with life.