April 4, 2012
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Democrats don’t support evolution.
Whether you prefer to plant your tongue in your left or right cheek is irrelevant to me so long as you keep it there for the remainder of this article.
It’s quite simple. Democrats, in no way, support evolution. They may believe in it. But they are concerned with doing everything in their power to stop it.
Society advances forward both technologically and mentally by the spread of knowledge and intelligence, and really, really good sperm. Sperm being the wonderful container for which all desirable and undesirable traits are carried from generation to generation. Spermy, sperm, sperm.
Aaaaaanyway… Democrats are attacking evolution on two different fronts. The first being BIG GOVERNMENT. Of course, nobody likes calling it “big government” since it’s such a nasty pair of words, but that is exactly what it means when so much of our daily lives our being regulated. GRANTED… you may not be surprised after reading my post from a couple days ago that I wouldn’t trust the average American with their own life either and understand perfectly the need for such regulation. This doesn’t mean that I think it’s GOOD… I just think it’s either that, or we go back to Hoovervilles. The point is though, that BIG EVIL NASTY GOVERNMENT provides an environment that is directly counter to the ideal situation for natural selection to occur. For our society to move in a forward direction, we NEED the lower-class, uneducated to start dropping like flies as a result of their own mistakes and lack of health. This of course will remove generations of less than favorable spermies from swimming through less than favorable fallopians. By requiring health coverage and other regulated benefits that help to directly counter-act the mistakes… the dredges of society are allowed to continue to breed and repopulate the earth with all the speed and rabidness of rabbits, which brings me to…
THE BIG “A” WORD. And no, I don’t mean automaton. The legalization of abortion is the single most counter-evolution action that society could possibly take part in. Not only are the wealthy to middle class who don’t have souls (which is most of the upper and middle class) able to pick and choose the very number of children that they have, but are able to mate endlessly without the fear of children at all. The constant and healthy breeding by carefully choosing a mate based off of looks and intelligence is what drives the evolution process forward. Without any risk of consequences, people can afford to be a little less choosy. AND HERE’S THE BEST PART… BECAUSE of the government regulated benefits and healthcare options… it’s actually beneficial for the lower class who rely on these packages to have as many children with as many different mates as they can. Every single child they can get their grubby hands on is another dollar sign.
In other words, not only are democrats doing everything they can to make a mockery out of Lord God Darwin’s discovery of evolution, but they are doing their damnedest to carry it in the very OPPOSITE direction.
Until next time, good luck with life.
Comments (29)
My wife: Can I read it?
Me: Yeah
Her: Is it controversial?
Me: OF COURSE!
Really poor sperm actually. And poor uteruses. I hope none of your friends are getting fertility treatment, because they will hate me: If you can’t reproduce naturally, that’s biology’s way for weeding out your DNA.
Evolution and eugenics are two different things. And being poor doesn’t mean you have poor sperm, geniuses are very often underachievers, and not everything that benefits society makes money. Being a ruthless sociopath will give you an edge in the business world, especially if there aren’t any of those evil regulations to stop you from destroying any semblance of a level playing field.
I don’t want to live in a world where you have to fuck everyone else over to survive, what the hell kind of selection pressure would that be?
Even a pack of wolves looks out for each other. The kind of world you envision would be one in which poor health might decline but so would compassion and conscience and kindness and loving your neighbor until all that’s left is one big meat grinder called the human race.
I’d rather us go extinct if those are our only two options (and they’re not by the way).
@agnophilo - this whole thing was definitely a joke, bro
Your argument is tantamount to saying that rules in sports produce poorer players, it’s idiotic. And it could be applied to all laws.
@agnophilo - again bro… perhaps you don’t understand the concept of “tongue in cheek” that I mentioned in the very first sentence.
@RockOfEadie - Yeah well your “joke” is called laissez-faire capitalism and it’s a favorite idea of conservative politicians. It’s heavily promoted and fought for, so I fail to see the humor.
@agnophilo - lol, well, not everybody has the same sense of humor as me, so that’s okay… lol. No need for you to stick around here then.
I noticed that you got here by searching “evolution” on the xanga search bar… so I’m guessing you were looking to create some kind of debate or something, but you’ll get none from me.
I don’t have time to deal with angry people on the internet… it would take a lifetime.
@RockOfEadie - I’m not responsible for your assumptions.
@agnophilo - lol, nor did I or will I ever ask you to be, but I’m still allowed to make them, so I shall.
In any case, you are quite amusing to me, so if you would like to stay here and continue to miss the point of my posts, I would welcome it… After all, I’m not responsible for your interpretations of what I write.
How are you doing anyway? Has the weather been decent enough where you are at? We’ve had some pretty rough storms here lately, but the sun is already out and the ground is all but dried up again. Not that it’s ever anything other than either hot or rainy here anyway.
@RockOfEadie - The same constant cold then hot then cold then hot it’s been for the last few years.
@agnophilo - ah, it’s that global warming, then global cooling, then global warming, then global cooling, then global warming, eh?
@RockOfEadie - Global warming is a measure of the total heat absorbed by the planet annually, local weather has more to do with how that heat is redistributed through wind and ocean currents. Global warming is about the average temperature, not the zig zag extremes.
@agnophilo - lol, do you always take everything so seriously? What does it take to tell a joke, what kind of humor do you like? Obviously not sarcasm…
I had BBQ chicken pizza for dinner last night, it was delicious
@RockOfEadie - I’m a nerd, sorry if it offends you.
And humor usually requires a wink or nod or artful exaggeration, not the simple stating of things people commonly believe.
@agnophilo - . I find nerds to be highly offensive, they killed my dog.
Also, another way to convey humor, particularly in a manner that is intended to specifically make fun of popular opinions is to exaggerate them to the point of lunacy while appearing deadpan about it… John Stewart for example.
Obviously deadpan isn’t exactly easy to convey in text form, so I just exclusively exaggerate.
You should look through some of my older posts on here… You couldn’t tell it from looking at it now, but several years ago I used to get 100+ different people commenting per post based exclusively off of me posting outrageous crap that was lightly based on either politics, religion, or pop culture.
Maybe of you see a couple of those you could understand my style.
My goal is typically strictly to entertain, but if I make some people think every now and then, that wouldn’t hurt either.
Also, I need to work on improving my rush/cheese defense. If I can survive the first ten minutes or so I usually will have picked up enough Intel to have an efficient unit composition, but oftentimes I will waste too many resources early on by teching up too soon and getting severely outnumbered early on.
Also, I find giving too many hints about something being funny is like cheating, it takes away the fun and creativity of it
@RockOfEadie - I’m a slow player so I tend not to play multiplayer RTS’ (though FPS’ are fun). And the killed my dog comment was comically exaggerated/funny : )
The other stuff I have to know you to know you’re being sarcastic. With hard-line conservative views you need to exaggerate it a lot to let people know you’re kidding, and with fundamentalism it’s impossible to exaggerate it enough everyone will know you’re kidding (poe’s law).
@RockOfEadie - Something unambiguous helps.
@agnophilo - thank God I’m not trying to convince everybody in the world then.
I still think my global warming/global cooling comment was funny, you’re just a sour puss
@RockOfEadie - Not really, it’s not how global warming works. Maybe I’ve just seen too many people obnoxiously claim that to really find it funny.
@agnophilo - the very fact that that’s not how it works is WHY its funny… It’s basically mocking those that think that’s how it works, or feigning ignorance, if you will.
@agnophilo - perhaps if you go out on a limb and pretend that I’m not the MOST uninformed idiot in the world, and use that to determine that anything that I say that sounds radical or zealous is likely some attempt at sarcasm, we will reach a more mutual understanding.
Let’s try an exercise:
Happy Easter!
You see, that’s funny because I know that your are an atheist. I guess you could say that the understanding of facetious political or social humor is dependent on understanding how much the person telling the joke a actually knows.
But then again, people taking what I say seriously is half of the fun sometimes, keeps things interesting.
See, we would have never become best friends if you hadn’t overreacted in the first place! Silver lining… HUZZAH!!!!
@RockOfEadie - Yeah but there’s way too much genuine ignorance for me to chuckle at that. If someone just said “we should get rid of niggers” that wouldn’t be funny because it’s stupid and people think that way. There would have to be something else in the delivery for it to be called satire imo.
@RockOfEadie - This is america, 1 in 5 people when polled say the sun goes around the earth and we elected george bush twice. I don’t go out on a limb and assume people aren’t ignorant, insane or irrational anymore. Here it really is going out on a limb.
Do you not come in contact with a lot of fundamentalist or hardcore conservative types or live in a big city or something? I get how it’s harder to take crazy people seriously if you haven’t talked to more of them than you can count. I messaged back and forth with a guy from sweden once and he thought our fundamentalists were hilarious because he’s from sweden where only like 20% of the population believes in a personal god. They’re less funny if you’re from say alabama.
@agnophilo - I’ve lived in nothing but big cities my entire life, and actually, its safe to say that I encounter more crazy people in one day than most people see in a year since I’m the store manager of a family style shoe store.
It’s just that I’ve developed a sort of “smile and wave attitude” towards them.
The fact is that whether we like it or not, everybody is entitled to their own mantras and opinions regardless of how wrong or misinformed they are.
The thing is, I learned a long time ago that expressing my disapproval to somebody either angrily or aggressively is absolutely useless and accomplishes only the successful shortening of my lifespan. So instead, I let them do, say, or think as they wish while studying them from a distance… This allows me to make fun of their baseless opinions or behavior how I see fit, and I find it to be far more personally therapeutic.
As far as warranting a chuckle, or even a guffaw out of my comments, I certainly can’t force you to. Obviously from your own personal interactions with society you have developed somewhat of a resistance to lightheartedness… Which is a word now.
But I have an idea… A challenge if you will… Perhaps for both of our bemusement.
Why don’t you make your next blog post center around a strong, controversial point… But do it in a way that you feel would come off as comedic… Or at least satirical. Satire, after all being my favorite form of prose. Do you ever read The Onion? Something like that, it will be fun.
Also, if you ever want some RTS lessons, hit me up… StarCraft 2 is my mistress.
@RockOfEadie - Two things – 1, if I find certain views more depressing than funny it doesn’t mean I suffer from depression or have some character defect – I’m allowed to just not laugh at your blog. And second, I just a few blogs ago wrote a nazi version of a willy wonka song. I do lighthearted just fine.
Also, my crappy PC can’t play SC2, integrated graphics.
@agnophilo - I saw the Aryan song.
It was comical, but it was not satirical since at no time did it act like it was taking itself seriously. The tricky aspect of satire is making it LOOK self important while being obviously a farce.
Take THIS for example
@RockOfEadie - It’s more clear that it’s parody to people who don’t know you because it’s an absurd position that isn’t also extremely popular. And I gave that link as an example of lightheartedness, not satire. If you want satire here’s a blog I did in the early days of the birther nonsense. To be fair a few people actually thought I was being serious.
Interesting, i mean for both your post and the discussion.