April 3, 2009

• Lord and Savior does not bring “A” game

  

     Junction City Arkansas:  The Junction City Junctions suffered a nail-biting defeat during last night’s championship game against the Hawaii Volcanoes.  The NBA2 defending champs were outscored 119-120 on their own turf in one of the closest NBA2 games in history.  After going into septuple overtime, the Junctions had a real chance to lock it away when their star center Anthony McAnthony was fouled on shot with .2 seconds left, allowing him to take two free-throws.  After doing his signature routine on the free-throw line: a sign of the cross, followed by a quick prayer and then 5 decades of the rosary, he failed on both baskets sealing the game, and the pennant for the Volcanoes.  When interviewed after the game, McAnthony had this to say:

      “Man, I don’t know what happened up there on those last two shots, man.  I mean, dog, you know, I’m like, this close with Jesus, and you know, I just thought he had my back out there, man.  I just really didn’t think he was going to let me down like that, know what I’m saying?  Man, if he hadn’t screwed that up, we’d be singing a different song right now, ya know?”

     This was coming off of the previous night’s crushing victory over the New York New Yorkers during which game the Volcanoes won by a deciding 23 points.  At this go-around, many of the Junctions’ key players were noted as having thanked God and Jesus for everything they did for them and helping them win the game.  In fact, the future of Jesus H. Christ, who was declared last year as the captain of the Junctions, may now no longer be with the team.  We spoke with coach Daemon during the press conference on this issue:

      “You know, Jesus has really been in there for us the past few seasons, and we really thought things were going are way.  When I acquired him three years ago, we knew that we would be able to establish a certain level of chemistry with the players.  I just never expected him to choke at such a critical junction in our franchise.  I have spoken with Coach Clapton of the Heathens and he mentioned interest of making a trade.”

      Inside sources have revealed that the trade that coach Daemon spoke of may have been for Heathens’ star Allah who hasn’t really been there for the team lately.  Our insider claims that Daemon has “met several times with Allah and even given Allah a tour of Junction City.” 

      -Walter Eadie, Otiose Sports.

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