Month: April 2012

  • Democrats don’t support evolution.

       Whether you prefer to plant your tongue in your left or right cheek is irrelevant to me so long as you keep it there for the remainder of this article.

        It’s quite simple.  Democrats, in no way, support evolution.  They may believe in it.  But they are concerned with doing everything in their power to stop it.  

        Society advances forward both technologically and mentally by the spread of knowledge and intelligence, and really, really good sperm.  Sperm being the wonderful container for which all desirable and undesirable traits are carried from generation to generation.  Spermy, sperm, sperm.

        Aaaaaanyway… Democrats are attacking evolution on two different fronts.  The first being BIG GOVERNMENT.  Of course, nobody likes calling it “big government” since it’s such a nasty pair of words, but that is exactly what it means when so much of our daily lives our being regulated.  GRANTED… you may not be surprised after reading my post from a couple days ago that I wouldn’t trust the average American with their own life either and understand perfectly the need for such regulation.  This doesn’t mean that I think it’s GOOD… I just think it’s either that, or we go back to Hoovervilles.  The point is though, that BIG EVIL NASTY GOVERNMENT provides an environment that is directly counter to the ideal situation for natural selection to occur.  For our society to move in a forward direction, we NEED the lower-class, uneducated to start dropping like flies as a result of their own mistakes and lack of health.  This of course will remove generations of less than favorable spermies from swimming through less than favorable fallopians.  By requiring health coverage and other regulated benefits that help to directly counter-act the mistakes… the dredges of society are allowed to continue to breed and repopulate the earth with all the speed and rabidness of rabbits, which brings me to…

        THE BIG “A” WORD.  And no, I don’t mean automaton.  The legalization of abortion is the single most counter-evolution action that society could possibly take part in.  Not only are the wealthy to middle class who don’t have souls (which is most of the upper and middle class) able to pick and choose the very number of children that they have, but are able to mate endlessly without the fear of children at all.  The constant and healthy breeding by carefully choosing a mate based off of looks and intelligence is what drives the evolution process forward.  Without any risk of consequences, people can afford to be a little less choosy.  AND HERE’S THE BEST PART… BECAUSE of the government regulated benefits and healthcare options… it’s actually beneficial for the lower class who rely on these packages to have as many children with as many different mates as they can.  Every single child they can get their grubby hands on is another dollar sign.

        In other words, not only are democrats doing everything they can to make a mockery out of Lord God Darwin’s discovery of evolution, but they are doing their damnedest to carry it in the very OPPOSITE direction.

        Until next time, good luck with life.

     

  • Customer Satisfaction

        Would you like to buy a second pair of shoes today for half price with this, ma’am?

        *woman looks at husband*
        Go grab those ones that you were looking at, hun.

        *man comes back with pair of $70 Dockers*
        Okay, just so you are aware, you will get half price on these girl’s sandals, since they are only $20…

        WELL THAT IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!!! 

        *awkward pause*
        I’m sorry ma’am, you get half price on a shoe of equal or lesser value.  Since the most expensive shoe are these Dockers, the sandals will go half price

        It’s okay babe, I don’t need these

        THAT IS EXACTLY WHY WE DON’T SHOP HERE

        *me, thinking that they are shopping here right now*
        Because we only give half price on the cheaper pair?  Otherwise people would buy a $5 pair and a $100 pair and get 50 dollars off…

        IT’S JUST UNBELIEVABLE  AND YOU NEVER HAVE THE SIZE WE’RE LOOKING FOR

        If we don’t have your size, we can send it straight to your house in only 3-4 days at no cost.

        WE ARE NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN!

        Is there another store in town that offers buy one, get one half price all year long and gives you the more expensive one at half off?

        I AM NOT GOING TO ANSWER THAT.

        *completes purchase*

        Thank you ma’am, have a nice day.

        Until next time, good luck with life.

        P.S.  @Slicy still wondering what your BNet name is, we should totally hit it up sometime.