April 3, 2008
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Potty Training
Welcome back to the show. To get us started today, I am going to feed you all a poem (yes, it’s mine) that should tie in the rest of my post nicely. (If you don’t get the poem now, come back and read it again when you finish the rest of the post)
How can we as human kind
with ears so deaf and eyes so blind
walk so smooth through doors still closed
with life and death not juxtaposed
Ok, so maybe that poem is never going to make sense. Here’s a post:
Getting potty trained is that crucial time that we all go through, I mean everybody (this is the part where some wise-ass comes in and says they were never potty trained, they knew from birth). During your potty training experience, we basically transcend from the realm of savagery and barbarianism and become humans. We raise ourselves above every other species of animal at this point and thus the completeness of our humanity begins.
Take this girl for example. She is finally going through her training. She is breaking free of the animalistic behavior that separates us from the rest of the beasts. She just received her first real toilet. She is excited about this big step as you can see from the look on her face.
Sometimes, people like for their children to start training at a much younger age.
Not too young of course, but they just want their children to be ready in the event that nature calls. I mean, we don’t want boys out there that don’t know how to use their guns properly… EVERYBODY gets trained this way.
Yes, such an important time in our lives when we learn to sperate ourselves from the human savagery that gives us the appearance of being mundane creatures. Once we have been potty trained, we have nowhere to go but up, evolving ourselves constantly and becoming more and more as a civilized person, never to digress into the bowels of violent worldly behavior.
Onward and upward…
…towards humanity.
Comments (70)
Exactly. Potty training is tied directly to the ascendance of human civilization….except for the whole war thing, of course…those probably stem from the cute li’l babies with the tell-tale army hats and guns! lol Lesson; potty train your kids without teaching them military warfare, or it’ll come back to screw you over when they inevitably get recruited to be in a pointless war!
*runs away from political stuff*
^_^
Well I’m a bit stupid… I’m trying to link this with the poem you wrote (by the way, I liked the poem so much hahaha, but not in the essence of potty training)…
I’m just thinking of how Freud positioned potty training in the lives of humans… I don’t think it is as creative as you did it… And many call Freud a genius. :]
Hugs,
Ritz
but I really wasn’t potty trained, I did know from birth, really. I think the baby with the helmet and the gun is the best.
That’s cute you posted a picture of you and your friends peeing outside, helping your family garden grow strong. That was you that dropped your pants all the way down, right? How were those tomatoes??
Drunkards in their disillusioned state haven’t the vaguest concept of potty training whatsoever.
Fighting is a part of any species; humans just do it in more advanced ways.
@grammarboy - exactly, thus we aren’t so different from other species then are we if we can revert back to the savagery of killing?
What prepares us for the use of grenades? When we purposely piss [I'm sorry I brought up a stupid pun, have mercy on me] our parents off with taking poop and writing them on walls before throwing it?
@grammarboy - shouldn’t we be advanced enough NOT to kill each other? I mean sure, we can fight, but dear god, there are so many better ways to deal with things!
I used to love you.
How dare you though. HOW DARE YOU! You have an entire entry about potty training, and yet, for some unknown reason you do not even mention poop? I mean, nothing? Not even the word? I realize the savagery of humanity and killing is bad and blah blah blah. But this golden opportunity to explore golden, um, showers and other stuff. Nothing. Blank.
Could you at least give us a cute child trying to poop? No? aw, man.
I’m going to boycott this post in the only way I see as fit. I’m going to refuse to be potty trained for the next 24 hours. unnngg. hmm, warm.
-slicy
@eadie - Though killing as a general concept is wrong, it can be done for the right reasons or the wrong reasons, and humans can (or at least try to) make a distinction; that’s what sets us apart from animals.
@justfinethanku - thats the point, we ARE in fact actually digressing
@slicy - gross
@justfinethanku - Frankly, I doubt that all fighting will ever cease before kingdom come. There are generally better ways to do things, yes, but killing, once initiated, must often be resolved by more killing.
DOESN’T THIS QUALIFY AS CHILD PORNOGRAPHY??? OOOOOOHHHH.
@grammarboy - just because you don’t think the killing WILL stop is no reason to support it.
Also, if you are a Christian, I would recommend reading the book of Matthew. Jesus teaches that we should not return violence for violence. In fact, in a conversation he was having with a disciple he explained, very clearly, that when someone hits you, you should turn the other cheek. The disciple was confused by this, so he asked “how many times should I turn the other cheek??” Jesus replied by saying “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
I think it was clear that God did not want us to support violence in any way.
And morally it is reprehensible! there is no reason for us to be killing other people. especially in the way and for the “reasons” we are doing it now on such a huge scale.
@justfinethanku - grammarboy is in the army… so yeah, at this point at least, his options are somewhat limmitted.
and so after 490 times we can return violence?
@eadie - lol, I think the point was more that we should not put a limit on our forgiveness of other people.
I don’t oppose people being in the army. i just absolutely hate the management.
Possibly in biblical times the number 490 hadn’t been invented. To them that was the same as infinity lol.
Quite profound post btw.
@justfinethanku - The emphasis the NT is making is not anti-war it is anti self, it is faith in God, it is loving others more than we love ourselves. Jesus doesn’t say he is anti-war. He says that there are many times in life you will need to turn your back on violence for a higher purpose In fact the only DIRECT social commentary Jesus ever makes is about the Pharisees.
In fact the 24th chapter of Matthew talks about their being wars and rumors of wars during the end times. So obviously it would seem they were not going to miraculously cease as a result of Jesus words.
War is one of the ‘conscience’ issues of the bible. One needs to make their own decisions before God about it. There is not a clear cut yeah or nay on it, anywhere to be found. One can draw conclusions one way on the words of Jesus and forget about the whole historicity of the OT, or they can use the context of the OT and forget about the words of Jesus. Or they can make a balanced choice based on both- and be comfortable in their choice before God. Knowing he is their judge… not men.
Unfortunately on many sides of the religious fence wars have been used by selfish men for selfish reasons and have added God’s name to it as an afterthought.
@eadie - Interesting post deep yet humorous. I like it.
It always amazes me as a mother how I spend the first 4 years of my kids life being ultra impressed by their toileting habits. Encouraging them, rewarding them even, telling them how clever they are!
The as soon as they hit about 5 (school age), no one wants to know you went pee pee or did fluffs. No one wants to know any more you did BIG number 2, but for the past 5 years of your life it seemed to be all anyone wanted to talk about and congratulate you on.
You get to old age and again what was cute as an infant is now a reflection of something far deeper and is marked with great sadness.
Well done.
x
hm. potty training as a metaphor for humanity. I like this.
and it certainly stirred up an interesting debate about war and so forth. I would jump in, but SarahsD said a lot of what I was going to say, so I won’t be redundant.
anyway, excellent post, once again!
@sarahsD - I wish I could agree with you, but I will hold to what I said before. The bible talks about many things. And it talks AGAINST many things.
sure, there will be wars and rumors of wars in the end times, but were does it say we should support those wars? The NT also gives many other indications for the end times that include our days “being as the days of Noah”, meaning sin will be rampant and there will be very few who trust in God. Does that mean we should support sin?
Also, if you would note, the pharisee’s were the Direct government the Jews has set in place for themselves. I mean, sure, there were the Romans who ended up being completely evil, but can you show me one single instance of a Christian hurting another person in the NT?
No? They just let themselves be persecuted? Crucified? beaten, torchered without fighting back?
actually, yes, they did. It is a pretty radical idea. Turning the other cheek, even in the face of certain death. Jesus did it, almost all of his followers did it. it was a radical new time. a time were Jesus taught that he was here not to overthrow the government through the same means that had been used before, but by changing the hearts of man.
I am pro-peace because my faith teaches me that I should be pro-peace.
I am also a Bible college graduate, my major? theology.
@justfinethanku - you know, there were several battles in the bible in which God was on one particular side and gave that side the strength to win the battle. Jericho was one such batlle in which God took a side and helped them vaquish their enemy.
the nt was a new covanant. Jesus was replacing the old ways with the new. I am not talking about the old testiment.
@justfinethanku - people overlook the old testiment too much. It was part of the bible too. It’s in there for a reason. It’s not just gonna say “here’s a bunch of stuff, now forget about it and read the new testiment.”
Not trying to offend, btw, just saying.
I believe (but it is NOT my own belief) that our fine President
feels that this war is a humanitarian sort of endeavor… Oooh, how I dislike him.
Great post! The poem makes me think. …ouch!
Man, I have a pocket version of that book I keep on me at all times. Just in case there’s a fucking archer or something.
ryc: No, but I do edit touches of it, here and that, and that makes it update entirely in the new home-main thingy.
@justfinethanku -I think many martyrs went to their graves without ever lifting a hand to their oppressors and neither should they given the teachings of Jesus.
I agree that the ‘rumors’ of war do not suggest that we participate.
The Pharisees were also the ‘religious leaders of they day’ who tied men up to their own ideals and philosophies.
NT Christianity is a ‘relationship’. People like ‘grammarboy’ need to make their own decisions before the Lord, as do you and I.
I am pro-peace as well and have not made up my mind about war. I live in a world whose freedoms were bought through the men and women who died for them. Does that make war right? No not at all, but I certainly benefit from the blood shed of others. I find myself caught between a rock and a hard place between reality vs theological ideals.
Me…. I am just a simple house wife, with no biblical training, no theology degree just trying to live humbly before my God.
x
No no no it’s all backwards. What the world needs is less potty training and more violence!
Great post, and the book is a good read.
Oh, and your paint skillz are elite!
nice post.. i think i’m going to subscribe now.
i haven’t read the life of pi… thanks for recommending it. i’ll try to get a copy when i get back to the philippines. i have read the plot summary though and it seems like a good read.
and now you’re reading the art of war. impressive!
you might grow up to outshine DMV… he reads tons of books too… and both of you post entries that have meaning… the only thing is that he’s dark and twisted. this makes you come off as the savior of the xangan race…
thank God for bloggers like you! keep on rocking!
don quixote huh? i bow down humbly in awe. mine was goosebumps at 8 year old…
shakespeare came three years later… and it wasn’t too insightful either: romeo and juliet 
anyway, hoping to read more from you soon… cheers!
comments like that provide a peek of your writing prowess
I suppose that begs to answer the question that if potty training is a metaphor for humanity, what is the analogy of wetting one’s pants?
i like your poem, ecspecially the last word : ), I’m glad i don’t remember potty training…but i don’t think i was ever as happy as she is about my toilet
@eadie - Are you kidding?! We’re so much better at it! I mean, we’ve created ways of killing where we don’t even do the actual killing! We pull a small lever and it promts something else to throw a sharp piece of metal at what we want to have killed!
As for Sun Tzu, I read the book recently and was greatly dissappointed at how it was all obvious logic to me… nothing nearly as ground-breaking as everyone always makes him out to be… What are your thoughts? Do you agree or am I a military genius?
@Legendairy - well, the thing is, it was groundbreaking for its time. Almost all military tactics these days are influenced by this book
@eadie - Actually it wasn’t so much groundbreaking as it was a solid military manual, and one that WAS logical. My thought though was the whole: “why all the hype?” because it’s played up to be so much more. It really is just a string of common sense. People today don’t give people back then enough credit. They were debatably smarter THEN than we are NOW. We have more tech, but that is due to accumulated knowledge (one person building upon another’s knowledge). Most people now don’t have that sound grasp of the obvious… those basic principals that allowed the original knowledge to be there to build on in the 1st place. Of course, I have just answered my original question because that is part of why people see it as revolutionary. I could go on but nobody really cares! haha! Just figured I’d poke fun at it to amuse myself and see what kind of witty remark you came back with.
@Legendairy - back foul fiend!!!
@eadie - Hahahaha! Yeah, speaking of making comments nobody cares about just for reaction’s sake, I’ve got an idea for a pulse….
WOW I never thought that a potty training post could spark such debate…. Thats amazing and kinda wierd… Great post eadie.. Quite funny and true about digression if any thing the sparked debate here only proves that lol…
Best writing wishes…
i am going to send you a link of a picture of my kid. cause I think you would like it too.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=postImageComment&friendID=21586772&albumID=1611307&imageID=15580492
I just taught my kids to pee outside. It was easier than teaching them to pee in the toilet.
@antisoccermom - I got straight up friend blocked on that link there
i added the pic to my page. i think that it should be on a postcard. Anyway, send me a friend request so we can be friends on the space.
My God is the God of both the Old AND New Testaments. He is a loving and forgiving deity who must not be mucked with.
How’d the comments get so deep? Point is, potty training leads to war! Everybody go buy Depends and end the cycle of violence!
@Legendairy - What, that Pulse about eating M&Ms?
What bothers me is that while military academies study The Art of War- which as you said is common sense- business colleges study The Prince. You know, Machiavelli? I tried to read The Prince but it was too dull. I got the gist, though. If some politicians study Machiavelli as well, while the military studies Sun Tzu, I think we see why not everyone is on the same page even if they’re fighting the same war….
@fullmetalbunny - that’s like how in middle school when the kids are learning sex ed. they take the boys and the girls into seperate rooms. I don’t know what they showed the girls, but they showed us boys some porn.
@eadie - Being home schooled, my sex-ed experience involved my Mom drawing pictures. And of course I watched R-rated movies.
plato’s cave.
How do we know when it was written, I mean all we have is words and promises that it’s real. I’m not saying I don’t believe in it, I just have doubts and whatnots.
@XxYahhLikeThat - there is all kinds of proof and evidence as to when it was written. The question has never been one of how old it is as it was whether or not it could be believed.
potty train is code word for battle-cry! today’s wars are just man’s basic instinct for survival run amuck. by the way, we potty train dogs, rabbits, etc. do you think they’re fighting a secret, deadly war leaving allergenic fur and flinging poo everywhere?
@eadie -
Right, I totally understand what you mean. I guess it’s all in what you have faith in and what you don’t.
@venusatellite - but we, the human species potty-train these animals, those species don’t teach themselves to potty train, it is still a very human aspect.
hey! you mixed humor AND social commentary. you must be less than 20 years old. past a certain point that becomes impossible. i mean… bill mahr tried it…he tried real hard. and look what he’s become. poor guy.
@complicatedlight - oh God, I better start selling out now before it’s too late!
ryc – if you thought evolution was bad, check out the parody some guys did – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-kSZsvBY-A&feature=related
@lyricsninja - yeah, i already saw that one too (I lurk)
OH. 0__0
This is the 2nd blog this week that I misunderstood the sarcasm for realness.
Meh…I guess I’m just not able to fully think straight this week.
Sorry for the confusion and for getting halfway frustrated with you.
@eadie - very, very true. i wonder if i can teach my rabbit karate.
Once again I refuse to believe you are any younger than 50. Very good post, and look at all the controversy you stirred up.
“People always told me be carful what you do, dont go around breakin young girls hearts!.”..sry i was just jammin out to tha billy jean! classic!!.lol back to the blog topic…potty training is the start to our evolution! its were it all begins!
RYC: Lucky bastard.
I wish I had your girlfriend.
=[
ugh.
that’s the actual bunny. ahaha
heyy you.
I’m good.
you?
haha i love yout picture!
except for the fingers..,whats up wit that?
a cross?
@sarahsD - I’m not trying to come across as someone who thinks they know it all, sorry! It is all about a relationship with God, I agree.
WHO IS HE?
IN CHEMISTRY, HE TURNED WATER TO WINE.
IN BIOLOGY, HE WAS BORN WITHOUT THE
NORMAL CONCEPTION;
IN PHYSICS, HE DISPROVED THE LAW OF
GRAVITY
WHEN HE ASCENDED INTO HEAVEN;
IN ECONOMICS, HE DISPROVED THE LAW
OF
DIMINISHING RETURN BY FEEDING 5000 MEN WITH
TWO FISHES & 5 LOAVES OF
BREAD;
IN MEDICINE, HE CURED THE SICK AND THE
BLIND WITHOUT
ADMINISTERING A SINGLE DOSE OF DRUGS,
IN HISTORY, HE IS THE BEGINNING
AND THE END;
IN GOVERNMENT, HE SAID THAT HE SHALL
BE CALLED
WONDERFUL COUNSELOR, PRINCE OF PEACE; IN RELIGION, HE SAID NO ONE COMES TO
THE
FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH HIM; SO. WHO IS HE?
HE IS JESUS!
JOIN ME AND LET’S CELEBRATE HIM;
HE IS WORTHY.
THE EYES BEHOLDING THIS MESSAGE SHALL
NOT BEHOLD EVIL, THE HAND THAT WILL
SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYBODY SHALL
NOT LABOR IN VAIN, AND THE MOUTH SAYING
AMEN TO THIS PRAYER SHALL SMILE FOREVER.
REMAIN IN GOD AND SEEK HIS FACE
ALWAYS.
AMEN IN GOD I’VE FOUND EVERYTHING!
The Greatest Man in History
Jesus had no
servants, yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree, yet they called Him
Teacher.
Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
He had no army,
yet kings feared Him..
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the
world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a
tomb, yet He lives today.
I feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves
us!
Jesus said
‘If you deny me before man, I will deny you
before my Father.
@justfinethanku - me either .
Here a peace offering… I would have bought you a coffee, but a cupcake will have to do.
When will they bring out a a let’s do coffee mini?
Grace, peace and cupcakes @ ya bro.