October 15, 2009

• Pop Culture Clearance Sale.

  
      Are you unsatisfied with the Coca-Cola pinup girls hanging on your wall?  Are your Marilyn Monroe posters fading?  Does your Princess Leia cardboard cutout make you sweat like it used to?  Are you looking to put some Nostalgia back into your Nostalgia?  Then come on down to Eadie’s pop culture memorabilia of yesteryear.  Why, with something from this collection, your house will resemble a 21st century museum in no time.  Slap bracelets be damned, for the clueless rock-dwellers among us, I present thee with the Pop Culture Clearance Sale.

   

      Robert Pattinson poster.
      Asking Price:  1 whopping cent.

      Sure, the Twilight saga still has full steam, but haven’t you noticed?  Nobody cares about Edward Cullens anymore.  It’s all about hot Native American Taylor Lautner and his role as “OMG an Indian is playing a werewolf, everybody quick, overlook the racism!”  I’m not really sure why the global attention switched between the two stars, I mean, Taylor was in the first movie too.  I think it may have something to do with that what-the-hell-is-growing-on-his-head hair-don’t he’s been sporting around for quite a while now.  I must have missed the memo that said unkept and unshowered is sexy.  Hell, I should have been on the cover of GQ for every month if that was the case.

   

      Brett Favre Packers Memorabilia.
      Asking Price:  5 bucks.

      While Favre is still undoubtedly hot shit right now in the NFL, he hasn’t played for the Packers for two years.  Now, this shouldn’t mean anything since he was with them for 16 years, most of which were astonishing, but everybody remembers how he left.  Now the wise would be quick to point out that it was actually the Packers’ management that ultimately led to Favre’s schism with the organization but a wise person in the NFL is an oxymoron.  Unfortunately for Favre who was quoted after his smack down of his former team on Monday Night Football a week ago as saying “I hope the Green Bay Packers fans know how I feel about them”, it may not matter because Green Bay fans don’t seem to care how he feels about him.  Time will tell when Favre marches into Lambeau Field later this year to either thunderous applause or a resounding boo.

   

      Jokes About Kanye West.
      Asking Price:  GTFO

      One of the fastest spreading internet phenomena was also one of the fastest dying.  Not only is Kanye West versus Patrick Swayze not funny anymore, but it is finally actually approaching being distasteful.  “George Bush does not care about black people” is still worth a few more chuckles than anything else about the Kanye “gay fish” West.  I must admit though, the George Bush one just may turn out to be an undying classic.

   

      Hating Gay People.
      Asking Price:  eternal humiliation

      Remember back when laughing at gay people was cool?  Now you will get scorned and called closed minded.  (It’s funny how if you don’t think exactly the way open-minded people want you to think, that you are considered uncultured… but more on that never).  What is in right now then?  Actually, it looks like hating Jews is making a pretty strong comeback.  It’s time to dust off your ovens and break out your Nazi propaganda again.  Man, I’m going to get trashed for this one.

   

      Video Games.
      Asking Price:  your girlfriend

      Video games seemed to have reached their heyday with the PS2-GameCube-Xbox era.  How many of you can honestly say that you never hung out at a friend’s house and did nothing but play one of these systems for hours straight.  What’s that, many of you can say that?  Well, bully!  But the point is, how many people even own one of the “next gen” systems yet?  I just got my PS3 a month or two ago, and aside from Little Big Planet and Blu-Ray movies, it mostly just collects dust.

   

      The Lord of the Rings Fan-Club
      Asking Price:  always free

      Waitaminute, this never even was cool… moving right along.

   

      Fergie CDs
      Asking Price:  anything to help get her career back from Lady-Ga-Ga

      After I typed that, I sat here for a good minute realizing that I couldn’t even remember the name of any Fergie songs.  I’m not saying either of the two of them are good, but who can deny that they have almost the exact same voice?

   

      Kevin Jonas’ Chastity Ring
      Asking Price:  $1,000,000

      That’s right, I went there.  If you think that price is steep, imagine what it was month’s ago.

   

   

      Until next time, good luck with life.

  • 11:25 am
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