June 19, 2008

• Title

   

      Ingenious, witty, colorful, lexiphanic, and simultaneously gripping introductory sentence laced with idioms and pseudo-interrogatory tones.  Subtle or direct implication toward purpose of the preceding syntactical chain.  Generalized and over-stereotyped thesis.  Vague compilation of any points, accusations, statements of disdain, or hopelessly unfunny musings to be rendered in the remaining body.  Random bullshit.
      Formfitting personal or believed-to-be personal example reflecting initial thesis.  Eloquent, mind-numbing “after-facts” soaked likely in boredom and misdirection resulting in indifference from intended audience.  Random quip, satirical or otherwise, forged with the intent of recapturing lost audience and adding momentum to an allegedly important albeit pending goal.  Stanza concluding statement drenched with complementary “I told you so” attitude, often completely over the heads of targeted individuals but worded so fluidly as to inspire doubt and guilt in aforementioned persons.  Random bullshit.
      Initial statement for an entirely superfluous paragraph purposed either for an indication of extreme hatred/anger, or solely entertainment.  Continuation of unnecessary paragraph intended on emphasizing tone or foundation of entire body.  Blatantly obscure reference to image either on the side, or below current text placed in order to make up for uncreativity or generally uninspired thought processes.  Second reference to said photo re-hashed in a valiant attempt to milk any humorous themes from therein.  Random bullshit.
      Intro to third, final, and most “meaningful” of three main body paragraphs while still maintaining established theme of meandering thought trails and contradictory exaggerations.  Another uninteresting example used to further add to the redundancy throughout body.  Additional lackluster statement contrived primarily for the addition of length to entire feature mixed with intelligent sounding elaborations in a pathetic attempt to establish some degree of reputable credibility.  Random bullshit.
      Second visit of initial event or outline created in the piece’s introductory sentence.  Quotes from commonly known sources that have been tagged as being “outside the box” and “of higher learning” thrown in to create the illusion of intellect or free thinking without any real care or understanding toward referenced materials.  Reiteration of thesis with subtle syntactical alterations so as not to sound overly repetitive.  Final, concluding independent clause bidding a call to action or sense of finality to entire piece (a.k.a. random bullshit).

   

      Next question.

   

  • 10:18 pm
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